I am finding it harder to focus these days. Our world is upside down. Watching the world collapse around us and feeling helpless to stop it. The sun came out today so today is a better day. People can go out and walk a pup or push a stroller or do both at the same time while still being distant from anyone else.
Our society is in mourning for human contact, a kiss, a handshake. We have been visited by the harbinger of death and we continue to struggle to survive it.
I have always thought about what it would be like if a virus got loose in the world like the one we are bearing witness to right now. What would we do? Would we give up and just die? Would we fight? Would the people we have put in power and trust to protect us do their jobs? Would we take care of one another? What would that look like?
Regretfully, we currently bear witness to terrible, horrifying illness and death. The leaders we put in place are fighting amongst themselves to see who will profit most from this scourge. We are not allowed to care for one another; no indeed, if we fall ill and have to go to a hospital for care, we must say goodbye to our loved ones. We will suffer and die alone. Alone. Alone.
We now know that this virus has been in our country for much longer than we first believed and that it came from more than just one place. Unwittingly spread by people who either thought they just had a cold, a touch of the flu, or no symptoms at all. By the time the leader of our country decided to actually listen to the drum beat of this virus that had been beating for a long time, it was too late.
This man, or maybe not even a man, is uneducated, ignorant, cruel and vulgar takes victory laps on the graves of his victims. He is committing genocide, added by partisan hacks who have long ago outlived any sort of value. People who fawn and genuflect to this monster who presides over the mass murders of men, women, children and babies and considers 80,000 dead a victory. They kiss his (ring) in order to stack courts with like minded individuals who compromised their souls long ago.
So now, after weeks of death, they are all in too deep to ever survive the drowning of their souls.
So, how do we cope? What do we do to stay alive, care for our loved ones and eliminate the diseased leaders so that our people have a prayer of surviving?
Vote? That would be wonderful, but how many will be left to actually vote come November?
Businesses are dying. People are dying, babies are dying, and yet, building a wall to keep others out is more important. Caging souls who don’t look like the orange moron in chief, more important than listening to the facts, the science, the sane.
Babies in cages, undrinkable water, death and disease on a massive scale and we have senators more worried about their own job than the people they are sworn to represent.
When did caring for one another become Socialism? When did doing the right thing become a crime?
I know that the so-called religious right are simply atheists in Christian clothing. Because nowhere; NO WHERE in the Bible does it say to Hate, to Dominate, to Hurt, to Turn away from others. The God I was taught to worship didn’t care what color I was, or who I loved, or who loved me. The God I was taught to worship is color blind and reveres all creatures. These so-called holy folk are liars and cheats. They do not believe in God. They lie to you in the name of God, but don’t really care about you as long as they have theirs.
My rage is all consuming. My sorrow is stifling. My heart feels hate and finds it sickening.
So, how do I put one foot in front of the other? Well, I don’t sometimes. Sometimes I just stop and feel all that terror and pain. Other times I look at my family, my pups, my friends all struggling at the same time and I take a deep breath and start to look outward. I look at the sunrise and appreciate. I look at the moon and appreciate. When my children share photos of my grand children I feel love and gratitude that they are safe and well for now. And I appreciate. The terror that one or more will become ill chokes me sometimes. But in that moment when I see them smile and laugh, I feel gratitude.
My prayers are for health for all of them. For lives long and well lived. Prayers that they will always be kind and know that they are loved. And a selfish prayer that we all stay well so that we may celebrate their lives for many many years.
How do I pray at a time like this? My form of prayer has always come from my hands or music. So right now, I put my head down and sew prayers into stitches of cloth masks to hopefully protect anyone who needs one. My knitting is prayer. My beading; also prayer. When my voice allows me to sing; it is prayer.
I pray for the time, the patience and the love of the world. I pray to overcome the fear and hate that has grown in my soul for the people who have caused this. Or maybe caused is the wrong word; maybe, allowed this to unfold in this way is a better choice. Because it truly did not have to be this way. There was information available. There were plans in place that were willfully dismantled by a racist, conman who was installed by foreign interference in our election. We could see it coming and we are helpless as we watch this madman succumb to age onset dementia and megalomania.
So we pray. We keep praying to whatever power we believe in for mercy; for survival; for return to sanity.
Our world will never be the same as it was on the first of January 2020. Our world has forever been changed, by greed, racism, cruelty and hate. It didn’t have to be this way. We should not have to die.
For now; we will stay at home, stay in touch with all we love, care for those we can. And we will pray for the world to come right side up.
